Often in my professional and academic life myself, or someone else, will have done something wrong. And when called out on “wrongness”, I have noticed about three general reactions: deny the wrongness, justify the wrongness, blame others for the wrongness, or admit to the wrongness and figure out how to move forward. The first two of denying and justifying seems to go hand in hand and also happens to be the one that I use to use frequently and still catch myself returning to time-to-time.
Frequently when we are called out on wrongness, we forget about what we would be looking for from the other person if we were the one that had called them out: which would be to admit and figure out how to move forward. This method also let’s us take an understanding approach to the conversation about to occur, the conflict. It is very possible that at this point you might not even understand why you were wrong and the other person could be wrong in calling you wrong. By first admitting that you could be wrong and then asking how so, it lets them feel safe in sharing. If first we started with “I don’t think I am wrong”, it now makes the other party have to feel as if they have also been attacked and leads to less progress overall.
It is strange that so often we move back into the other approaches. I have had teachers say that their question was not wrong by twisting the logic of the question, I have seen managers lash out at others about things they are responsible for, and much more. Overall, it is so much more professional to admit and own wrongness and figure out how to move forward.